Reflections at 4am

Things that make me happy:
-Laughing so hard I cry (more than once) with my lil sis today!
- Getting some AWESOME stuff with my credit card reward points!
-Haggen Daz Mango Sorbet in personal portion cups!
-Writing vacations and friend's wedding dates in permanent marker on my calendar!
-Singing GLEE songs at the top of our lungs in the car!
-Our one surviving fish, little Barney, and how he wiggles with excitement when you get close to the tank!
-Surprise Bonus checks for working nights and being a "Key Contributor"!
-Being able to sit snuggled up warm on the couch while it snows outside!
-Going to visit a favorite patient and her three precious little babies!!!

So mom has once again informed me of my neglectful blogging habits.
What to update you on???
The holidays this years were low-key, and an all-too-real portrayal of my life in the future as a staff nurse in a hospital- working part, or all of the important days of the year. It was hard to feel grouchy about new babies being born on Christmas though. Lucky for me, many friends came back to town to see their family and coincidentally, spent time with me too! Yay!
Em and I got some fish, and then proceeded to kill most of them. Fish are high maintenance! 2 of the originals are still alive...and the second snail...
After the holiday rush ended, I booked yet another exciting vacation to distract me from the cold gray days of January. In June, Emily, her friend Kristi and I will be headed to
VEGAS BABY!!!!
We are going here:The Mandalay Bay Resort in Las Vegas. AND we are going to a Celine Dion Concert! SO EXCITED!!! In response to my vacation planning, I bought a new swimsuit (yikes) and got a "Bikini Body" workout DVD, which caused me a lot of pain yesterday. We'll see what happens.
Two months till the Bahamas! Counting the days!

Snow

And less than a week after booking a vacation to the tropics, this is the scene on William St:

While I do hate winter-it is kinda pretty. And peaceful.

VACATION!!!

Just booked a trip to THE BAHAMAS with good friend Julia in March! Super excited!

The Grind

So, wow- a whole month has passed since I last wrote--sorry! I feel like so much has happened, and at the same time, nothing at all. As a former co-worker and fellow blogger puts it:

"We are living our day to day lives...working the daily grind. That doesn’t provide for much blogging material. Also... when I have nothing exciting to blog about... I’m not going to blog."

One exciting thing (looking for small victories here) HARRY POTTER came out last night, and we went at midnight! The crowd was rowdy and good fun- it's a very cool thing to be a part of something that has meant so much to all different generations.

What else???

Weddings have happened. Since that last post, I have been to three weddings. My 6-8 of the year. Please understand this- I am VERY happy for my friends who have found their life partners, but it's getting a little hard to deal with. Most of the time I am busy enough not to notice how lonely I am, but I am. Lonely. In theory I have made the decision that while I am still living in Chambana, I am not interested in finding a boyfriend. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm also not turning people away just because they live here (if you really know the intimacies of my life, you're probably laughing--people? what people? She doesn't see any people!) True. Sorry to bum you out, just trying to be honest.
Work keeps me crazy busy as usual. The "Team Leader" position has been eliminated and now they are referring to us as "Charge Nurses". I am really enjoying being in charge, and usually think I do a pretty good job. Last week I had my first experience of..."being the boss" (as opposed to my usual m.o. which is to just be their normal friend and co-worker who also does a lot of behind the scene fire-extinguishing ans decision-making). I had to raise my voice, say something pompous like "I'm in charge, I call the shots, and this is how it's gonna be--deal with it!" It made me really uncomfortable, but it turned out ok I think. I'm a little bummed about the holidays. I was still on orientation last year so I didn't have to work any. This year, I work Thanksgiving night, Christmas night, and New Years Eve. With many nights in between. Which means no traveling and no family time. Lame. At least I have Christmas eve off. That's my favorite!
It's getting cold out...winter is not really something I enjoy...good thing I have friends who are willing to plan tropical vacations with me- something fun in March around my birthday is in the works! Trying to stay positive people! Thanks for the support!
And just so you aren't left picture-less: Miss Belle, who is turning 1 next month!!!

Influences

This week was a pretty good week. Friday night, I had a date with a farmer. He is the brother of a co-worker and she's been trying to set us up for months. Finally, I agreed to her giving him my phone number, so we have talked on the phone for the last few weeks. Friday he drove up (he lives on his farm in Pana, which is about 2 hours away), and took me to dinner, frozen custard, and a movie. And while I've since decided that it's not gonna work out, it was really fun to be taken out on the town like that!
Then I worked 4 nights in a row. The first night, I was team leader again, and it went really well. No emergencies, good patients, good teamwork. The next two nights, I got to be in the nursery. It was a relief, because I was a little worried that becoming team leader would mean that I could never be in the nursery anymore (since I'm needed on the floor). And on Tuesday night- I got to be in the NICU! Those of you who remember my early nursing dreams might recall that for years (probably 10+) I wanted to be one thing and one thing only--to be a NICU nurse! Then, since getting my current job, whenever I go down to the NICU with patients, I am only intimidated by the tiny, sickly babies, and many beeping monitors-nothing seemed appealing about it at all. So Tuesday, when I got to work and they asked if I was willing to float down there, I was hesitant. But it turned out to be really nice! I had three "feeder-grower" babies, which are exactly what they sound like- basically babies that are just too small to go home, but aren't really on oxygen, or ventilators, or anything invasive anymore. It was a really good night-at least until I got a lap full of breast-milk and had to go change my pants!Today I went in to talk to the scheduler about a day she needed me to switch around, and when I was leaving, she asked if I would rather be cross-trained to labor and delivery, but stay on nights, or stay on postpartum, but go back to days...no question- bring me back to days! (She didn't say anything more than that, but keep your fingers crossed!)
Now I get a few days off, and after a night catching up with my good friend Kim tomorrow, we will be off to the suburbs to party at the wedding of friends Mark and Jesse on Saturday! Yay!

I have to admit: Since basically all I do when I'm not working or sleeping is watch tv, I have come to the point where my mood is influenced by what I watch (sick I know). "Grey's Anatomy" tonight was actually sort of uplifting- ending with Derek telling Meredith to stop worrying about the future, and focus on enjoying the present. This is a huge problem for me. I am CONSTANTLY planning, plotting, and dreaming about my future and not really enjoying the present moment. Today, while running errands, I stopped for a minute and took a deep breath of the fall air. I had forgotten how much I truly love this season: the warm breezes, the dry air, the beautiful colors, the crisp cool night air- LOVE IT! And I'm really going to try to be more appreciative of the every day moments.

Where has the summer gone?

So, yeah, I get it, I know I've been neglecting you all for the last month, sorry!
I went to Seattle, and it was wonderful, and fun, and I just had a difficult time transitioning back to my boring life in Champaign-Urbana. For those of you not on Facebook, here's a taste of what I'm missing now:

See? It's just so lovely out there! If only it was 2 hours away instead of 4 (on a plane)!
Now I'm back in that work-sleep-watch lots of bad tv routine...there's not much to say really.
It is officially fall here in C-U and the weather is delightful! I'll admit, since getting back, I have not once attempted running...that was short-lived...but Emily and I have been taking some neighborhood walks!
Last night was my first time in my new role as permanent TL (Team Leader, think of it as assistant charge nurse). It was going fine until about 10pm when I got a newly delivered red-headed patient, and she proceeded to have a massive hemorrhage. We really weren't prepared to handle it- all of the nurses working last night had the same (or less) experience that I do, and they don't happen very often (thankfully). No matter how much classroom instruction we get, everything moves so quickly that it gets scary fast. And, I'm sure this will come as a total shock to those of you who know me best, but hemorrhages, and other medical emergencies, are things that I can't CONTROL, which is makes me really uncomfortable. Luckily, my team was AWESOME, and everyone stepped in and helped, including the charge nurse from Labor and Delivery and two doctors. The patient has since recovered, and hours of charting later, I think I am starting to too. Needless to say- I learned A LOT, so hopefully next time it will go better! Saturday I have another go at the whole team leader thing, so maybe that time I can stay in control and be a good leader.